Back in April I bought an interesting gift. At the time I thought it was a great idea and I was looking forward to giving it along with putting it to use. In This is My Stop I briefly talk about the last man I was in a relationship with, lets call him Eddie. Eddie and I met shortly after Christmas and things progressed pretty quickly. I was attracted to his strength, his huge heart, and his work ethic. He would tell you he was attracted to the same things in me.
We both have April birthdays and we had decided to take a trip to Asheville in that month to celebrate. I happened upon the best gift.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, our sex life was incredible. He made me feel sexy and wanted. He took me to heights I didn’t even realize I could reach. He was extremely attentive and we both were thoroughly pleased everytime we were intimate. We couldn’t get enough of each other and found ourselves exploring the others body on a daily basis.
With that in mind, I found a Love is Art kit online that I thought we could enjoy it together while on our trip and bought it as a gift for him. He loved the idea and looked forward to creating this art with me.
If you didn’t click the link, here is a quick run down. Grommet makes a body painting kit for lovers. In this kit is a plastic sheet to protect the area you will be using, a large cotton canvas, non toxic paint, and two sets of booties to keep footprints off your carpet.
We took the package to Asheville with the intentions of coming home with a painting to hang above my bed.
The first night we were both exhausted and decided to wait until the next night, there wasn’t much planned for that day. Unfortunately he consumed too much alcohol the following night and I had to help him to bed. And that night was actually the first night where I started to think things were not going to work out. We had a fun long weekend on this trip but the painting was never made.
When we came home, I unloaded the car and placed the package in the corner of my room. Since, Eddie has shown his true colors and I caught him in numerous lies. He broke my heart and took pieces of me with him when he left (I should point out that he was staying with me towards the end of it and he formed a beautiful bond with my children).
I’ve thought about this kit still sitting in the corner of my room, exactly where I placed it over four months ago.
And to me, this package represents what my family lost. And I don’t mean the man. I mean the love, the support, the acceptance, the adventure, the future. Even though Eddie lied about a lot of things and did things that were shady and morally wrong he was a good companion. I miss that more than anything. We talked, really talked about anything and everything. Out of all the men who have stepped foot into my life, I can honestly say, he knew me and accepted me for who I am.
There is no going back to Eddie. Being lied to and betrayed are two very difficult things to get over and I know that I’ll never be able to get passed the hurt and forgive him for what he has done to my family.
It’s time to throw out the Love is Art kit. I have been very down the last week but I think I’m finally moving forward and this is one more reminder of what was lost.