Just because we live in a technological age, it doesn’t mean we are allowed to forget our manners. We may be interacting with a screen, but it’s not just an image, it’s a person.
Meet CableGuy. CableGuy reached out to me on POF (Plenty of Fish) a few days ago and this is how he did it:
Now, don’t get ahead of yourselves because CableGuy is not who I’m referring to in this post. I found his message to be amusing but there was one problem…
After a good laugh, I asked CableGuy if he would like a do over and he impressed me so we chatted. And during our conversations I learned that he was going on a first date tonight with a woman he had been chatting with for months but had yet to meet. She set up the place because she had to work late and he was being gentlemen offering to drive over 30 minutes so she wouldn’t have to travel too far after work.
So, CableGuy is sitting at a trashy bar in my hometown, only a few miles from where I currently live. He is waiting on his date but he is texting me. I learn that he isn’t really a drinker and he thinks bars aren’t ideal for a first date. He’s nervous because he’s uncomfortable at the weird, small town bar she chose. And his date is late. Thirty minutes after she was supposed to meet him he texts me and says he’s leaving. I ask him to call me because we were both driving.
During our phone conversation he reveals (in a sexy, southern voice) that she walked into the bar with a friend. She had prior knowledge of where he was sitting because he texted and told her. Yet, she walks past him and parks herself at the other end of the bar, never making eye contact. In his nervous, uncomfortable state, he waits. He decides to send a text, which goes unanswered. He waits a little longer and then decides he had endured enough rejection for one night and gets up to leave. She never looks his way.
I listened as he described how that made him feel. I allowed him to get it all off his chest. I felt embarrassed for him and pissed at her at the same time.
Ladies, let me paint you a picture. CableGuy is 5’10”, athletic built, has short brown hair, hazel eyes, and a killer smile. I know this from his profile and the pictures he has posted. I am confident that when I meet him (which will be in a few days) he will not be any different from the above description.
So, my question is why did SideTrack Trash (my name for his date) decide she was too good to have drinks with CableGuy? Why was she late for a date she arranged? At what point did she realize she wasn’t going to go through with the date? Why did she bring a friend?
Don’t be like SideTrack Trash. Use the manners your parents or teachers instilled in you.
- Treat your date with respect. This should go without saying.
- Be on time. Arrive on time and if for any reason you will be late, inform your date and give an ETA.
- Give your date your undivided attention. Put your phone away, look him in the eyes, be present, and by all means DO NOT BRING YOUR BFF!
- Be considerate. Even if there is no chemistry, be considerate. Consider his time and effort and thank him for the evening. It’s ok to let him know that you don’t think there is a connection.
- Never stand up your date. If you need to cancel or reschedule contact him immediately. If you’ve had a change of heart or met someone else in the meantime, let him know. Guys don’t like being left out of the loop anymore than we do.
My lesson from his experience is as follows:
We all are on the same road. We’re looking for a companion, a friend, someone we can confide in. This journey can be exciting but it also can be scary and heartbreaking. Not every person we meet on this road is going to be our forever mate but we may make friends along the way. Be kind, be considerate, be respectful, have an open mind. You never know who you’ll come across next.