Category: Uncategorized

Goodbye Hermine

As Hurricane Hermine (I can’t help but want to pronounce it Hermione) 

pounds the coast of NC today, we are heading away from the storm and across five states into Oklahoma for a wedding. 

Red is driving, the boys are in the back sleeping, and I am relaxing in the passenger seat thinking I should probably get some sleep.  We’ll switch after a few hours and I’ll need to be refreshed. 

This will be a long trip but I think its an adventure I need. Stay tuned, I plan to take lots of pics. Have a safe holiday weekend. 

A Brother’s Love

I am blessed to have a beautiful bond with my baby brother. We have always been close but since my separation, over two years ago, we have grown closer. 

Even though he is five years younger than me, Red, is protective, extremely supportive, and loving. 

After being stood up the other night we decided to head out on the town. We took a walk uptown and talked to a few people at The Green. It was so peaceful and nice out. The weather wasn’t too hot. After walking around for a while we decided to grab an early morning meal at Midnight Diner in uptown. This is one of only a few diners, in the city, open into the wee hours. 

We arrived around 3am and it was packed. We had to wait a few minutes for a table to be cleaned off. We noticed the noise level as soon as we opened the door. Red even asked our server if it was always so loud. She stated that it was only that loud after the bars and clubs closed. So, if you visit after 2am, expect it to be very noisy. At times the noise actually hurt my ears. 

But we pushed through and ordered. I ordered a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit with an order of grits. 

And Red ordered:

So much food!

I have nothing negative to say about the food. The biscuits were fluffy, the grits were creamy, everything was delicious. And the prices were reasonable. The Bubba included so much food, Red had to take half of it home. 

The atmosphere on the other hand, was a bit much. It was loud and at one point one of the servers had to step in to calm one patron down who was trying to fight with others. Two police officers were also stationed out front, I’m guessing that is the norm.

The food is worth going again, I may just go at a different time when I return. 

Queen Bee on Bumble

I’ve been using Bumble for a couple months. A friend turned me onto it with the allure that I would have control over who contacts me. 

Unlike some women, I don’t mind taking control. I don’t mind reaching out first. 

I’ve been on and off Tinder for about two years now and it always disappoints me. I revealed to my little brother, Red’s girlfriend (they met on Tinder) the other week that I had over a hundred matches and she couldn’t believe the sheer number. But here’s the problem, out of those 100+ matches maybe a dozen actually started a conversation with me. Do you know how depressing it is to have a hundred men in the palm of your hand and none can hold a conversation?!

“Bumble is redefining dating rules.” – Cosmopolitan 

A breakdown of Bumble (heterosexual):

  • You swipe potential matches. 
  • Once you match, the female has 24 hours to send a message. 
  • After initial message is sent, the male has 24 hours to respond. 
  • If the messages are not sent in the time frame the match disappears. 

I enjoy this type of online matching. It keeps my “que of matches” clean and only the men who are truly interested in chatting stick around. 

This week they have added some features to Bumble. 

  • You can buyback expired connections. 
  • You can purchase unlimited 24 hour extensions. 
  • You can sort through matches who have already swiped right on you. 

These just sound like ways to get you to spend money on the app but it’s nice to have the opportunity to get back a match that you let expire. 

If you’re not afraid to make the first move, give Bumble a try. 

These are my only my opinions, I am not associated with this app in any way. 

Dating Etiquette 

Just because we live in a technological age, it doesn’t mean we are allowed to forget our manners. We may be interacting with a screen, but it’s not just an image, it’s a person. 

Meet CableGuy. CableGuy reached out to me on POF (Plenty of Fish) a few days ago and this is how he did it: 

Now, don’t get ahead of yourselves because CableGuy is not who I’m referring to in this post. I found his message to be amusing but there was one problem…

After a good laugh, I asked CableGuy if he would like a do over and he impressed me so we chatted. And during our conversations I learned that he was going on a first date tonight with a woman he had been chatting with for months but had yet to meet. She set up the place because she had to work late and he was being gentlemen offering to drive over 30 minutes so she wouldn’t have to travel too far after work. 

So, CableGuy is sitting at a trashy bar in my hometown, only a few miles from where I currently live. He is waiting on his date but he is texting me. I learn that he isn’t really a drinker and he thinks bars aren’t ideal for a first date. He’s nervous because he’s uncomfortable at the weird, small town bar she chose. And his date is late. Thirty minutes after she was supposed to meet him he texts me and says he’s leaving. I ask him to call me because we were both driving. 

During our phone conversation he reveals (in a sexy, southern voice) that she walked into the bar with a friend. She had prior knowledge of where he was sitting because he texted and told her. Yet, she walks past him and parks herself at the other end of the bar, never making eye contact. In his nervous, uncomfortable state, he waits. He decides to send a text, which goes unanswered. He waits a little longer and then decides he had endured enough rejection for one night and gets up to leave. She never looks his way. 

I listened as he described how that made him feel. I allowed him to get it all off his chest. I felt embarrassed for him and pissed at her at the same time. 

Ladies, let me paint you a picture. CableGuy is 5’10”, athletic built, has short brown hair, hazel eyes, and a killer smile. I know this from his profile and the pictures he has posted. I am confident that when I meet him (which will be in a few days) he will not be any different from the above description. 

So, my question is why did SideTrack Trash (my name for his date) decide she was too good to have drinks with CableGuy? Why was she late for a date she arranged? At what point did she realize she wasn’t going to go through with the date? Why did she bring a friend? 

Don’t be like SideTrack Trash. Use the manners your parents or teachers instilled in you. 

  • Treat your date with respect. This should go without saying. 
  • Be on time. Arrive on time and if for any reason you will be late, inform your date and give an ETA. 
  • Give your date your undivided attention. Put your phone away, look him in the eyes, be present, and by all means DO NOT BRING YOUR BFF! 
  • Be considerate. Even if there is no chemistry, be considerate. Consider his time and effort and thank him for the evening. It’s ok to let him know that you don’t think there is a connection. 
  • Never stand up your date. If you need to cancel or reschedule contact him immediately. If you’ve had a change of heart or met someone else in the meantime, let him know. Guys don’t like being left out of the loop anymore than we do. 

My lesson from his experience is as follows: 

We all are on the same road. We’re looking for a companion, a friend, someone we can confide in. This journey can be exciting but it also can be scary and heartbreaking. Not every person we meet on this road is going to be our forever mate but we may make friends along the way. Be kind, be considerate, be respectful, have an open mind. You never know who you’ll come across next. 


Exploring online dating apps


A Whole New World of Dating

As a working, single, thirty-something mom how do you find time to date?

And when you have those precious hours, where do you go? The bar scene seems so depressing and the club scene is too loud.

For me, I would rather have a date lined up, allowing me to enjoy those precious hours of free time instead of stressing over where to go and what to do. Enter online dating!!

There are dozens of online dating apps, where do you begin? I say, pick one
(or two) and give it at least 2 weeks before throwing in the towel or trying another. Here are my tips on how to make the most out of online dating.

  • Upload pictures. Make your main picture stand out. DO NOT POST A
    GROUP PIC AS YOUR MAIN PHOTO. The guy isn’t playing “Where’s  Waldo?” A headshot is completely acceptable as long as you also have
    at least one full body shot. Let the guys know what you’re working with, trust me, they want to see it. Don’t be slutty, find attractive, well
    put together photos that show off who you really are. You don’t show  up to a first date in sweats and no makeup, leave those pictures out of
    your dating profile.
  • Don’t skimp on the details. Fill out all the boxes! I despise a profile
    that isn’t filled out. If it asks you what you’re looking for, answer honestly. Be as thorough as possible without writing a book. You want
    to leave something to talk about but supply enough information to give
    the guy something to ask you about. I’m very forward and it’s difficult
    to reach out to a guy and send the first message if he doesn’t tell me  anything about himself in his profile.
  • Log on regularly. A lot of these apps will list you according to the last
    time you logged in. So, if you want to be seen, log in regularly. I also find it easy to get overwhelmed, especially as a new user. You will get bombarded the first week. Keep your messages clean, delete the guys you aren’t interested in and keep your conversations flowing with the
    ones you want to meet.
  • Be honest with yourself. Do you know what you want? What you’re looking for? Guys are going to ask, so be prepared. If you’re looking for
    a serious relationship, make it known. If you’re looking for hookups, put it out there. All these sites have a fair share of men looking for hookups, if that isn’t you, let them know. Most men respect that and will move on. If they don’t, you can always block or delete them.
  • Go out. Don’t be afraid to go out.. When I first started this journey I let my mother get in my head with all this “be careful, he might me a serial killer!” mess. But let’s be honest, how likely is that to happen. If you’re a responsible adult, you can safely meet a man in a public place without fear of him being anything more than what he appeared to be on his profile. I have a person (I actually have 2) and I always reach out to them with who I’m meeting and where. I’ll send them a picture of the guy and all the important information, just in case. But they’ve never had a need to use it. Be smart and you’ll be safe. Most importantly, have fun.

There isn’t one app that fits all but as long as you use these tips, be yourself,
and put yourself out there, you can have an enjoyable experience. Let me
know how it goes, share your tips with me, your experiences, and any advice in the comments below.